We freeze them to extend their shelf-life, but often we never get around to eating all of them before their presence in our freezer begins to disgust us and reminds us of all the awful things we have ever done to people. The refrigerator will let them rot slower than a pantry, but faster than a freezer. It's true for meat, so by induction I reason it is true for all things, including the noble bagel.
2. Perfect consistency for cutting
If you have to buy the kind of bagels we have to buy because we do not have a real bageleria (or is it bagelesserie?) near your home, your bagels are a little too gummy. And if you are like me, you cut your bagels with a steak knife. And if you are like me, you will mash them when you try to cut them and the resulting product is disappointing. Try freezing it to make it harder. You can't cut it now. You have to microwave it and that's even worse. But refrigerate it and see what happens. I think the bagel molecules get smashed closer together.
3. Preference for the refrigerator
Bagels are like ghosts. They have this ectoplasm (that's what is inside the hole) that allows them to do all sorts of amazing telekinetic things. And the optimal temperature for their ectoplasm is thirty seven degrees Fahrenheit. Their ectoplasm erodes if you let make them sit in a pantry for too long (it has a half-life like carbon-14) and it weakens their immune system's ability to fight off molds and what not.
4. Intended to be in the refrigerator
The Star Creator told me it was their historical destiny to be stored in the refrigerator. Also said that standing in the way of historical destiny punishes overall human progress and prevents you from attaining enlightenment.
5. Decreased incidence of teenage hooliganism
A 1997 study by the World Bagel Congress indicated that bagels raised in refrigerators are 75% less likely to be commit a felony or class 1 misdemeanor before they die.
6. Quality of life
Bagels housed in refrigerators are happier, more socially active, have better credit ratings and abuse fewer street narcotics than their pantry or freezer housed counterparts. The same is true for the people who live in houses that keep bagels in the refrigerator. People who don't keep them in the fridge are almost always gluesniffers.
7. Historical figures
Most (about 97%) evil people did not keep their bagels in their refrigerator. This includes, but is not limited to: Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Pol Pot, Chairman Mao, Kim Il Sung, Chiang Kai-shek, Josef Mengele and Genghis Khan. The following people are also non-refrigerators: Saddam Hussein, Slobodan Milosevic and Fidel Castro.
8. Celebrities and lottery winners
The following good celebrities keep bagels in the refrigerator (as reported by the World Bagel Congress and American Institute of Bagelry): Pele, the Pope, Denzel Washington, the XIV Dalai Lama, Bill Gates, Linus Torvalds, Spiderman, Julia Roberts, Madonna, Halle Barry, Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Margaret Thatcher, Jennifer Lopez, Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi. Most lottery winners attribute their tremendous luck to keeping bagels in the fridge.
9. Increased test scores
Children from homes where bagels were refrigerated performed 35% better quantitatively, 40% better verbally which allowed them to attend prestigious private universities with enormous endowments.
10. Science
A survey of many important scientists and physicists and those sorts of people showed that if bagels were kept refrigerated across the world, the increase in the global quality of life would allow us to have things like time travel and world peace. It's science, so don't argue with it.
