Kid Tetris

A. "How exactly did the fight start?"
B. "Well, you know how if you throw down against a root beer guy's root beer, he'll probably start kicking your ass?"
A. "No. Explain."
B. "We were just standing there and he had a Hire's root beer and he was all, 'You ever had Hire's?' I was all, 'Yeah. It's a run of the mill root beer to me. I like IBC.' Then he cocked his head to the side and started busting me with a two by four."
A. "Really."
B. "Yeah. But I did about the same thing to a guy at the bus stop a few days ago when he talked shit about IBC. He liked Dad's, I guess. Bitch didn't know when to shut his mouth."
A. "What did you do?"
B. "I started biting his arm and choking him with a bike chain."
A. "What happened to him?"
B. "I picked him up, wiped the blood off his face and bought him an IBC. It's common decency."
A. "And the gentleman who beat you up did not buy you a root beer, so you spelled out 'FUCK HIRE'S' in his yard with gasoline?"
B. "Exactly."
A. "And then he kidnapped your 9 year old son and had 'Piss-drinkers drink IBC' tattooed on his chest."
B. "Yes."
A. "And then you snuck into his house at night, chloroformed him, took him to the Hire's factory and drowned him in a vat of root beer?"
B. "Yep, that's pretty much it. Basically self-defense."