I don't really have anything to say, so I'll respond to some interview questions for Katie Holmes.
Q: What are the similarities between you and Joey, your character on "Dawson's Creek"?
A: Joey is not my character, but neither me nor Joey were succesful with girls.
Q: How is it playing a such a tender age when you're just out of that period?
A: "Tender age"? What kind of magazine are you writing for?
Q: Do you hang out with the Dawson's cast off screen? Do you hang out with the Dawson's cast off screen?
A: I don't believe we've ever hung out. In fact, none of them have ever returned any of the letters I wrote them.
Q: If you are an incarnation of one of the original brat packers (Demi Moore, Ally Sheedy, Mare Winningham, Molly Ringwald) who would you say you most closely emulate (not necessarily in looks)?
A: Molly Ringwald, I guess. Why didn't you list boys?
Q: Why?
A: Gawky ingenue. You watched Dawson's Creek, it seems. You should pick up that reference.
Q: Who's the most underrated actor working today?
A: Christopher Walken, no question.
Q: If Oliver Stone and Woody Allen both wanted you to be in their next films and you had a schedule conflict, who would you choose to work with?
A: I would choose it based on which movie sucked less.
Q: Why?
A: Because I don't like sucky movies.
Q: Would you want to be cast in a period piece, like Sense & Sensibility?
A: I'd rather be in a period pice, like Futuresport or Mad Max.
Q: Where will you be when "Dawson's Creek" premieres?
A: The show ended last May. But I'll be in Seattle.
Q: You had a small but great role in Ang Lee's recent feature film, "The Ice Storm." How did you prepare for being 'messed up' in the scene at the party?
A: I set up a few video cameras in my apartment and had a free drugs party and studied the resulting video when I woke up from my cocaine-induced coma. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Q: How hands on is Ang Lee?
A: Are you talking about Angela? We're supposed to meet for drinks next week. It sounds like you want to know if she's "rough" in "bed". I'll "let you know."
Q: Does Ang Lee talk a lot with his actors or does he just block the scene and let you have at it?
A: Angela is actually a girl. But, yes, she does talk a lot.
Q: What was it like working with Tobey Maguire? Is he as handsome as he looks on screen?
A: I worked with a guy named Tobin in high school?
Q: What was it like having your head in his lap?
A: He never put his head in my lap. In fact, he was a bit of an asshole.
Q: Talk about coming to Hollywood. What was it like?
A: My most vivid memory of Los Angeles is getting lost in Koreatown after leaving a Dodger game. It's not a good feeling. L.A. is hell, too.
Q: Do you feel overwhelmed by the whirlwind of success?
A: "Whirlwind of success" sounds like a tornado of success is touching down in midwestern trailer parks and tearing peoples homes apart and leaving Success in its wake. I have no idea what you are talking about, either.
Q: Are you ready for the fan mail?
A: I do not get fan mail, but I would like some.
Q: Where you do you see yourself in ten years?
A: I'll be 33 and it will be Thanksgiving, 2013. So I hope I'm doing something like eating.
Q: What is a good place in your career?
A: Employed, no subpeonas, adequate retirement fund.
Q: Are you going to be in Kevin Williamson's next movie?
A: An odd question, especially for someone who does not make movies. But, no, I don't believe so.
Q: Are you going to work with Ang Lee again? Are you going to be in Scream 3? What does the future hold for Katie Holmes?
A: I'm afraid I don't know the answer to any of your questions, except for the second, which is "No. "
