A REVIEW OF THE LYRICS EACH OF THE 50 STATE SONGS, PLUS D.C., GUAM, PUERTO RICO, AMERICAN SAMOA AND OTHER U.S. TERRITORIES THAT I REMEMBER AS THEY COME TO ME
Format:
State - "Song title" - brief review that lacks knowledge of historical contexts of the song
Alabama - "Alabama" - Opens with a proclamation of fidelity ("Alabama, Alabama, we will aye be true to thee"). Sounds a lot like a hymn. Includes the word "goodlier" and "softer than mother's kisses" which is just great. Claims to have brave and pure men and women, which it mentions is better than corn and wine. A good song.
Alaska - "Alaska's Flag" - Perhaps Alaska got the assignment wrong. You were supposed to write about your state, not your state's flag. Alaska, you big dumb ape, we still like you. Short song that explains the colors and symbolism of the flag. Not very interesting, since most of us could figure it out on our own, because - as the song states in its last line - it is "the simple flag of a last frontier." Still, I think it would be a good song to hear sung by schoolchildren at an assembly.
Arizona - "Arizona" - First, this song has a chorus, which is a lot like a pop song. Remember that Arizona was a late entrant into the American game (48th of 50), so you'd almost expect it to have a formulaic song like this. It also sounds like they took the opportunity to pay a favor to the Arizona Tourism Board (moreso than other states). Favorite line is "But with graves of heroes sleeping/ All the land is consecrate!"
Arkansas - "Arkansas" and "Oh, Arkansas" - Both have choruses, "Arkansas" is a more formula-driven song in some ways, so I'll focus on "Oh, Arkansas", which mentions Razorbacks football. While a lot of state songs ("Arkansas" included) are fixated on the physical - trees, mountains, rivers - "Oh, AR" is basically about the spirit of everything (including tomorrow and today). Refreshing change. Good song.
California - "I Love You, California" - I don't hate California - it has many admirable qualities - but surprise, surprise, the state with the reputation for being vapid and empty has a vapid and empty state song. It stumbles from the first line - "I love you California, you're the greatest state of all" (this should be a last line, if included at all since the song should be fixated on your own state, not comparing it to other states) - and never recovers. It just continues like a helpless talent show contestant belting out their poor rendition of an already poor Mariah Carey anthem into the microphone, completely oblivious to audience's growing disgust. Awful song that is the exact opposite of what a state song should be.
Colorado - "Where the Columbines Grow" - Let me say that if Colorado were a dog or rooster in a dogfight or a cockfight, I'd put my money on Colorado. And I like this song, too. I could picture a grizzled old cowboy singing it around a campfire. But the PineLane Intermediate Music Madness Choir does okay, too.
Connecticut - "Yankee Doodle" - You've heard it.
Delaware - "Our Delaware" - People dump on this state because it's not wearing thong underpants and getting drunk and taking off its shirt at parties like some states (California, Florida, Wisconsin). But this is a good song. It's very inward and mixes geographic features with non-physical things like freedom, liberty and independence.
Florida - "The Swanee River" and "Florida, My Florida" - There's a fine line between "folksy" and "offensive" and I'm surprised people haven't gotten pissed about "Swanee River," which says "Sadly I roam/ Still longing for de old plantation." "Florida, My Florida," on the other hand mentions "thy phosphate mines" and is therefore a better song. It maintains the good taste and non-jokingness of state songs.
Georgia - "Georgia on My Mind" - You've heard it. The Hoagy Carmichael song.
Hawaii - "Hawai'i Pono'i" - It's in Hawaiian, but it's short and the translation is nice in the "I'm fascinated by your warrior culture" way. It's not boastful - it's a basically a prayer.
Idaho - "Here We Have Idaho" - I think this is the best state song title. "Here's Montana and, to the left, here we have Idaho. Idaho, as you may remember, was reprimanded for biting the arm of his schoolmate, Wyoming." Shortish song, with a nice start ("You've heard of the wonders our land does possess") but it sort of collapses into stereotypes and platitudes. Proclaims love for "every nook and rill" and "romance lies in her name." Not a good state song, since your kids will be reading Harlequin romance novels and getting interested in kissing and shit.
Illinois - "Illinois" - First, it references a time of tumult and confusion in our nation "When the Southern host withdrew/ Pitting Gray against Blue" then it takes this opportunity to say "There were none more brave than you, Illinois, Illinois." This comparison crap has got to stop. This is what causes Americans to live in crippling debt.
Indiana - "On the Banks of the Wabash, Far Away" - If you've been in Indiana or Illinois, you'll have run into about 3 dozen streets named "Wabash Avenue." Can you see anything especially special about it? I can't. Anyway, to get a mental image of the modern take of this song, think of the Alan Jackson song "Chattahoochee." In "Wabash", the first half is plain and safe, but the last half is about a girl not believing you meant it when you said you loved her, then she dies and you want to be with her again. I don't think it's very wholesome.
Iowa - "The Song of Iowa" - Responds to a question not asked ("You asked what land I love best, Iowa, tis Iowa") and is boastful and makes a comparison ("The fairest state of all the west") that begs qeustions: is "fair" beautiful or average? Why just the west? Ends on a sad note ("So long as time's great cycle runs/ Or nations weep their fallen ones/ Thou'lt not forget thy patriot sons").
Kansas - "Home on the Range" - You've heard it.
Kentucky - "My Old Kentucky Home" - You've heard this, too.
Louisiana - "Give Me Louisiana" and "You Are My Sunshine" - You've heard "YAMS", so we'll talk about "GML." GML is folksy and friendly and talks about children romping and playing. California should take a lesson, since its last line is "The grandest of all states." This is almost a model state song. It shouldn't have brought up plantations, which are divisive. For a state that people associate with debauchery, it's a very chaste song. Good for kids.
Maine - "The Song of Maine" or "State of Maine Song" - First, the most notable feature of this song is that its comparison is more literary and grandiose than most - "Our search will be in vain/ To find a fairer spot on earth/ Than Maine, Maine, Maine!" It's short and therefore contains less commentary about its pine trees, which it already has a lot of. I'd like to see the song lengthened and include some lines about something more abstract - like spirit.
Maryland - "Maryland, My Maryland" - This song is full of exclamation points and violence. It's beautiful in its own way, but "Huzza! She spurns the Northen scum!" is completely unnecessary. Sounds like a drinking song or fighting song. It boils up the blood and old people shouldn't listen to it unless they've taken their heart medication.
Massachusetts - "All Hail to Massachusetts" - It's basically a school song, including the part where you spell out the name of the state. Nothing great.
Michigan - "Michigan, My Michigan" - You'd think it would be the same as "Maryland, My Maryland" except all the violence was replaced by weiner shit, and that's sort of what it is, since all state songs sort of sound the same and this one is full of weiner shit. Talks about fame. There's one part that makes me think of that rhyme, "Shake it to the east/ Shake it to the west/ Shake it to the one that you love best", though I don't think it has anything to do with the song.
Minnesota - "Hail Minnesota" - See "The Song of Maine". It's the same length. The pine tree content is replaced by stuff about skies, stars, lights and rivers.
Mississippi - "Go Mississippi" - Seriously. "Go" Mississippi. As though we're in a race or football game. This song can't be taken seriously in any way, especially the line "Go, Mississippi, the top is the goal" when they are forever a low achieving state. Honestly. Get a new state song that says stuff about rivers and lakes, then we'll talk.
Missouri - "Missouri Waltz" - Love it. It's a lullaby. Wholesome and doesn't proclaim "We're #1" or other things that can't be measured. Should include stuff about a river, though.
Montana - "Montana" and "Montana Melody" - "Montana"'s boast is "Of all the states from coast to coast/ You're easily the best." Otherwise I like this one, especially because it says "Sing then that glorious air/ The one I understand." It says that they are simple, not high falutin' people. "Montana Melody" is basically the perfect song, since it's about togetherness and nature and stuff. No comparisons in it, which I love. "Montana Melody" is 100% great.
Nebraska - "Beautiful Nebraska" - Beautiful, peaceful, rivers, hills, valleys, rainbows, pride. It's fine. Nothing spectacular.
Nevada - "Home Means Nevada" - At first, the title throws you off. "Shouldn't it be Nevada means home?" No! Because Nevada means covered with snow. We'll save the "Is this the right name for this state?" debate for another time. But if you only pay attention to the song, then this is a fine name for the state. Mountains, moon beams, sage trees, Kit Carson trail, etc. No mention of "Loose slots and legalized prostitution".
New Hampshire - "Old New Hampshire" - Stop laughing. It's a bizarre name for a song - pairing old and new right next to each other. It's meant to tease your ability to hold conflicting ideas in your brain at the same time. I really like this one. It's sort of a hymn and talks about religion, but it's also full of strange capitalization and awkward language and, despite my not liking the word "glorious", it all Works wond'rf'ly. "Here, the truth as from the hillside/ Whence her crystal water break." I totally want to go to New Hampshire.
New Jersey - "I'm From New Jersey" - Another answer to a question that nobody asked. Perhaps the most ridiculed state in the nation. The chorus says "I'm from New Jersey and I'm proud about it." Which makes you say, "What? Okay, this is a state song. I kind of like the awkward language." However, the second chrous is saying "COME TO NEW JERSEY, YOU WILL LIKE IT HERE." The tourism board crap has to stop. It's claim that Hoboken will steal my heart away is uninspired.
New Mexico - "O, Fair New Mexico" - Like "Old New Hampshire", this song challenges the listener with two conflicting ideas - it says both "Nuevo Mejico" and "New Mexico". Can you even deal with the ideas that this is both MEXICAN and AMERICAN? CAN YOU HANDLE IT? New Mexico is the grandest state to know and our hearts with pride o'erflow (awesome); Nuevo Mejico has its bright manana coming through weal and woe (cliche), a state of esperanza. This song is for the patient, high brow, artsy type. Wholesome, too. Good if your kid isn't very athletic and likes to draw.
New York - "I Love New York" - Short song. It says "New York is diff'rent 'cause there's no place else/ on earth quite like New York and that's why I love New York." Different because there's no place else quite like it? That's circular logic. Horrible. I hate this song because it makes me hate it.
North Carolina - "The Old North State" - This song is difficult not to like. "Plain and artless her sons" and "she envies not others, their merited glory." This is what we like - a healthy sense of reality and no desire to have a pissing contest with other states. The girls? They are "so graceful, so constant." The chorus-ish part is very "Go team, go!" I like this one.
North Dakota - "North Dakota Hymn" - Yes, sort of hymnal, but it is sometimes confusing if they are talking to North Dakota or an abstract deity. Lots of "thee" and "thine" and "thy". Includes the word "glorious." It's an okay song.
Ohio - "Beautiful Ohio" - Odd lyrics. "Freedom is supreme" in Ohio and "mighty factories seem to hum in tune." It's strange to 1) compare levels of freedom in states and 2) think of factories in any positive context, except for factories that make candy or dreams. Factories don't hum. They tend to grind and crunch.
Oklahoma - "Oklahoma" - Rodgers and Hammerstein. You've heard it.
Oregon - "Oregon, My Oregon" - Shorter song that's very abstract. It says Oregon was "Blest by the blood of martyrs." The rest of the song is sort of upbeat, depending how you think of the "Land of the Empire Builders." Odd song.
Pennsylvania - "Pennsylvania" - Pennsylvania, the Keystone State, explains its nickname in the song. "Birthplace of a mighty nation/ Keystone of the land." Full of religious imagery, maybe more than other states. Mostly about how Pennsylvania is important.
Rhode Island - "Rhode Island's It for Me" - The person behind the lyrics qualifies their love of Rhode Island by saying that they are qualified to do so by saying, "I've been to every state we have." They call the state "Rhody" once and I think that's my favorite part. No other state song says "Art that moves an eye to tear/ A jeweler's special skill/ Icicles refract the sun."
South Carolina - "Carolina" - This is almost as violent as "Maryland, My Maryland". The first 3 lines of the song: "Hold up the glories of thy dead/ Say how thy elder children bled/ And point to Eutaw's battle-bed." Gruesome, yes, but what's a Eutaw? A confused spelling of Utah? Probably not. I'm too tired to find out. The song has enough strange phrasing that you could listen to it.
South Dakota - "Hail! South Dakota!" - Smiling. Health, wealth and beauty. Gold mines. And Mount Rushmore. A wholesome song, but nothing spectacular. If it were in a class with all the other students, it would be like maybe a B or B- student.
Tennessee - "My Homeland Tennessee" and "My Tennessee" and "Rocky Top Tennessee" "The Tennessee Waltz" and "When It's Iris Time In Tennessee" - Tennessee was sick on the day of the assignment. Did anyone tell Tennessee the instructions? You get one song. I'm not going to grade this until you have only one.
Texas - "Texas, Our Texas" - It's what you would expect from this state. "All hail the mighty state... so wonderful so great." "God bless you Texas" makes it sound like Texas sneezed. This isn't an especially good state song.
Utah - "Utah, This is the Place" - Mormon values and storytelling. You think I'm joking, but it's all there. "Utah! With its focus on family/ Utah! Helps every child succeed." Even something about Brigham Young. Pretty gross. The state hymn, "Utah We Love Thee" which was also the old state song, is remarkably unremarkable.
Vermont - "Hail Vermont" - Again, this school song title ("Did you write your school song? Me neither. Copy off of Massachusetts.") but it's nothing like Massachusetts. It's like a bare bones state song - hills, water, sons, daughters, strong, free, pride, etc. The low point of this song is "They say home is where the heart is." Vermont is about a C student, leaning on cliches. Vermont will barely graduate - everyone in its graduating class raises their eyebrows in slight surprise when its name is announced - and will spend that summer doing hits from a bong he made in art class. This is pretty much indicative of the rest of its life, except he gets a girl pregnant ("I thought weed made you sterile") so he leaves town in his Dodge Colt one day to live with his cousin. He manages a website about Phish, too.
Virginia - "Carry Me back to Old Virginny" - Great title. But it's going to be replaced, because it reminds everyone of the Satchmo cartoonish freed slaves, which is probably a good thing. There's a contest for a new song, which seems to be laboring under the ineffectiveness of democracy.
Washington - "Washington, My Home" - In the mid 80s, there was an effort to make The Kingsmen's "Louie Louie" the state song. I like this idea, since I don't particularly like this song.
West Virginia - "West Virginia Hills" - Prince Immanuel's land, ratpure, etc. Sometimes odd, but good song. An A-.
Wisconsin - "On Wisconsin" - I knew these guys from Wisconsin and they would watch Badgers games religiously, often breaking into the school song (they didn't go to Wisconsin) which was "On, Wisconsin". It's similar to that song - it's very short - but it's different and I still don't like it.
Wyoming - "Wyoming" - A longish song that uses the word "dost" more than any other state song. This song gets an "A". There's nothing objectionable about this song.
American Samoa - "Amerika Samoa" - I could only find the lyrics in Samoan.
District of Columbia - "Star Spangled Banner" - You've heard it.
Federated State of Micronesia - couldn't find it
Guam - "Guam Hymn" and "Fanohge Chamoru" - I don't know what the second one says, since it's in Chamoru. But I like the constant reminder that Guam is, in fact, an island in the first. It's a good hymn.
Commonwealth of Northern Marianas - "Gi Talo' Gi Halom Tasi" - I could find the lyrics in Chamoru and Carolinan, but I don't know either.
Puerto Rico - "La Borinquena" - I can stumble through this song with my remedial Spanish skills. It's an okay song, I guess, but I can't really put everything together in a meaningful context.
Virgin Islands - Couldn't find it. Let me know if you can find it. The server was down.
