1. Wake up to the phone ringing at 10am. It's the job you were laid off from! You've got a paycheck. "Do you want to come down and pick it up or do you want us to send it?" Make them send it! Screw those lousy fucks out of 37 cents.
2. Go back to bed (it is 10am, after all) or watch the Golden Girls. Your pick. Can't go wrong either way.
3. If you picked "go back to bed," wake up around noon to Ted Leo's "Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?" Sing along to the chorus.
4. The Mariners are on! Watch them get waxed by the A's. The joke is on Oakland, though - it's a fake game!
5. Breakfast/lunch = sausage and provolone omellette with marinara. You are kicking ass. Keep it up.
6. Start drinking! You deserve it because this baseball game sucks!
7. What a day! It's already 4pm! Go to bed, you hero among men!
