Things I have said in my the few short hours I've been Dad (or, "Why I Could Never Be a Decent Father"):
"Do you know where your piano instructor lives? Because if you don't, you should call and cancel your lesson. I don't think I'll be able to find it."
"That boy called while you were taking a shower. We talked for a few minutes. I told him you were at the library. He laughed at you."
"No, you can't order Brown Sugar on pay-per-view. Listen, I'm going to get us Slurpees. If I come back and find out that you ordered that damn movie, I'm keeping your Slurpee for myself."
"So what time do you have do you have to be at school these days?... You're fucking joking, right?... Can you just wake me up when you are ready to leave? This sucks. I haven't been up that early in months. Does Cartoon Network still show Transformers at 6:30? Wake me up then."
"You want dinner? I don't know what to make. Get out the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and I'll whip up some dough. You seem to like that."
"Have you fed that cats? I haven't."
