Kid Tetris

Until I finish this Diet Coke:

I have a job
I like my job because it fulfills me
I have no debt
People look up to me because I lead by example
Money, fame, beauty and fashion are not considered marks of divine providence
I can fall asleep in a bed not positioned in the corner of a room
Each day I know what to do with myself for the entire day, every day, for the rest of my life
I maintain regular correspondence with everyone I wish I did
People recognize my intelligence, but do so quietly and never in front of me
I'm proud of everything I've done
There are no holidays where gift giving is a social obligation
I can drink wine without gagging
Everyone agrees that fashion doesn't matter
This country is not obsessed with victimhood
More people read
I can trust people more
I didn't fall asleep last night wondering if seal and walrus taste the same
I don't own 4 white T-shirts with chocolate milk stains
Awards shows and war are no longer needed
I've never had any traumatizing experiences being lost
People have thoughtful public debate about invisibility vs. flight
I believe I'm funny again
Honesty is welcomed and valued
My family doesn't have so much useless crap around the house
The term "gay" isn't used as a general derogatory
I can express myself clearly and completely through writing or speaking
I'm not afraid of snakes or revolving doors
I have a pinball machine
We can teleport cheaply and effectively
Poverty has been replaced by sexiness
I haven't been so shitty so many times to so many people
I don't still watch so many cartoons
We can still be friends
Humorlessness is a punishable crime