2. There was this song from pre-school that I always think of when I see a freight train, never a passenger train: "Peanut sat on a railroad track/ His heart was full of flutter/ Along came engine number nine/ Choo choo peanut butter." I think the only reason the peanut is of the male gender is because of Planters' Mr. Peanut.
3. If there's something more stupid than a restaurant staff singing a birthday song, I haven't found it yet.
4. There was this episode of A Wedding Story where the woman said that they were getting married to further truth and love in the world. But all of us think she's just afraid to live alone.
5. A free rap and a reason why I'm not involved in music industry: "I cried about the death of Flannery O'CONNOR/ She was Catholic and hella full of HONOR." But here's a song that rhymes "handsome" with "Ted Danson."
6. Right now would be an okay time to die for me. Not being desperate - just being practical. I figure if you are going to go, then there are good times and bad. Right now I have absolutely nothing scheduled - no interviews, lunches or box socials to go to. I don't have a job that would need to replace me. I don't have maintain any regular correspondence with anyone that would be broken. I own nothing especially significant or burdensome - no apartment to be emptied, no house. I don't even own that much stuff. I have a little debt and no insurance, but in all practical terms - this isn't an especially bad time. There's just very few loose ends.
I'm not remarkably unhappy, but I'm not self-actualized either. I've done things - eaten alligator, drank stolen beer in Korea, been to prom, been chemically enhanced, been arrested, stolen a car, voted a few times and a few other things. But there are things that I haven't done - things that when you think about them create an uncomfortable ambient pressure and self-doubt. Death would probably get rid of that. I've done okay.
Also, I'm not an angry person anymore. I used to be. I wouldn't want to die angry. Truthfully, there aren't many things I'd miss. I wouldn't be regretful about the things I never did or the things I did poorly. And I wouldn't miss the things I did well.
My legacy? Some fallow websites and a library card with a $1.50 in late fees.
7. I still have this gift certificate to a movie theater. The problem: I could use it at the theater is Bellevue, but they only have crappy movies. Or I could go to the one in Seattle and see a movie that I don't really want to see, but would rather see than something in Bellevue, but I'd also have to pay for parking, or at least part of it. The problem being that the paying for parking would really defeat the spirit of the trip (cashless entertainment). So I'll stay home and sleep.
8. Mom comes into the family room at about 4:58, lays down on the couch and asks me to turn it to the news. I say "The news is all the same - war, war, war, fire, car accident, weather - and you'll just fall asleep." She gives me a dirty look and says she won't. At 5:04, she's asleep. People shouldn't watch local news, anyway.
9. The problem with the Mariners is that they don't score enough runs. Or they give up too many. But if you only score one run in a game, you aren't scoring enough unless you give up zero runs.
10. Here's an idea: the People's Court or Judge Judy style thing except you have 4 or 5 elementary school kids dishing out the punishments. I'd watch it a few times.
11. There was a time when I did the flag salute when we didn't have school - Saturdays, Sundays, holidays, breaks. It lasted a few months. No flag, though. Just me standing there.
12. I'm looking at my whiteboard and it has reminders for things that have already past. Since I have nothing to do, I'm wondering if I'd be more sad by being reminded that I have nothing to do with a blank whiteboard or old reminders. I'll just take the thing down.
13. I probably have one or two brilliant ideas a week, but they never go anywhere because: people aren't brave, they think I'm insane, I'm too lazy to act on them or other people think the idea sucks. The distribution is probably 15/15/40/30.
14. Since maybe 6th grade, I've had people around me tell me that I ought to be a stand-up comedian. Complimentary, I suppose, but I also realize that they either don't realize that I'm quite intelligent or they really think I ought to ignore whatever mental gifts I've been given and go into entertaining. And what they don't realize is that I'd be completely miserable doing it. You have to sell yourself every single night and since I have absolutely abysmal self-esteem, this would be like climbing Denali every 24 hours. I'm extremely introverted and I don't really like being around people. I need the comfort and certainty of safety nets - health insurance and paychecks, for example. I hate comedy clubs - they are gross, desperate places patronized by gross, desperate people. There's a number of other reasons, but by the time I'm done with those few, people tend to drop the subject.
15. I was never a big Cal Ripken fan.
