2. April 24th is "Take Your Daughter or Son to Work Day." You might not have a daughter or son, but why should you miss out on this kind of fun?
I am offering to let you take me to work. I have my own car but I'm not that great at parallel parking and if it's downtown I don't really want to pay for parking. I can bring my own lunch. I'd prefer a slightly more "casual" dress code, since I spend most of my days in pajamas, but I'm willing to put on real clothes if the right opportunity presents itself.
Basically I'm offering my wry sense of humor for a few hours and maybe a mix CD. Just give me a description of exactly what it is you are offering - the job, office interiors, hours, nearby activities, what kind of computers (how fast, which OS, games, etc.), where the office is and so forth.
3. In general, I've found it's paradoxically more fun to want something than to actually have it.
4. An index:
Tetris, Kid Leviticus (1980 - 2003):
..ambitious nature, 84
..baseball, remarkable failures at playing, 134-168
..baseball, resigned to statistically analyze, 169-233
..bedsores, 189, 206, 424
..berry pie, fondness for, 47, 123-4, 299-300
..clips toenails, 173, 305-6
..collects normal-looking pebbles, 72, 224, 390-1
..collects popular but uninteresting music, 120-215
..collects Social Security feloniously, 380-425
..cookie-hoarding tendencies of, 98, 157, 203
..drinks chocolate milk, 97-98, 123-4, 158-60, 201, 272, 405
..early struggles with shoelaces, 20-63
..early struggles with imaginary numbers, 82-93
..early struggles with negative numbers, 45-56
..failure, fear of, 11-218
..failure, grows accustomed to, 218-566
..flirtations with drugs, 192
..flirations with men, 174-189
..flirtations with women, 165-167
..gets tongue stuck in cigarrette vending machine, 192
..grass skirted hula dolls, fondness for, 98, 154-9, 397
..hot baths, fondness for, 122, 158, 323
..housekeeper, caught constructing a crude robot girlfriend by, 324
..inadvertantly takes cat to school in backpack, 86
..incident with scarf on escalator at the airport, 345-7
..job interviews, hatred of, 27
..junior high trauma, 130-197
..kazoo, learns to play, 14
..kazoo, early success at playing, 15
..kazoo, unable to find, 16
..lies in bed, 110, 123, 180-9, 206-214, 308-34, 405-425
..lies on couches, 117, 124, 158-60, 230, 278, 311-5
..lies to authority figures, 125, 179, 312-18
..masturbates, 96, 98, 100-196, 198-201, 203-347
..math, affinity for, 140-143
..milkman, caught strung out on prescription pharmaceuticals by, 211
..misplaces TV remote control, 237, 389
..nearly has letter confessing a crush read out loud by teacher, 140
..nearly meets Evander Holyfield, 228
..police, incident in Hong Kong with, 226-228
..postman, caught kissing newspaper picture of Richard Grieco by, 220
..priest, caught fondling vegetables in supermarket by, 235
..revolving doors, fear of, 37, 211, 419-25
..Sandra Bullock and, 43
..smiled at by attractive cashier at Starbucks, 242
..told to have a nice day by attractive cashier at Starbucks, 243
..unusually frequent visits to Starbucks, 243-294
..unusually harsh banning at Starbucks, 295
..Venezuelan oil rig Starbucks, unable to follow Starbucks cashier to, 296
..watches Degrassi, 124, 160-75, 187-9, 312
..years of decline, 141-640
