2. But then there's Good Eats. I love Good Eats. I like a lot of shows, but love very few. It's an understated and underpromoted show. It differentiates itself from the other shows because it is genuinely informative. When you watch another show they leave out just enough to leave scared to actually attempt what they were doing. There's also no sundry information about the dish in question, which I love. In conclusion, Good Eats is the best.
3. Lately, since I've been home during the day, I've sparked a relationship with HGTV, specifically: House Hunters, Curb Appeal, Designer's Challenge and Designing for the Sexes. I'll limit my comments to House Hunters, though. For being a show rooted in reality, it is as predictable as the tides and that's what I like. There'll be 3 or 4 loser houses, then (with 10 minutes to go), they'll find the right house, buy it and 6 to 8 weeks later they are happy. It's comforting to see people that way.
4. My ideas - however misguided - are always welcome here. And I'd like a cooking show for the angry. A chef that screws up and throws stuff all over the set. Don't clown it up by having it happen all the time - just enough to keep us watching in expectation. The key, obviously, is to preserve its reality by keeping the cameras at fixed angles and having no audience. Make it feel like we are in his kitchen. Show him watching sports while the bread is baking, getting angry at his beloved Mets for blowing a lead.
5. To prevent you from believing that I spend all day watching TV (though I do have a fairly televisually-centric lifestyle right now) - the spring season makes me want to punch myself in the genitals. Leaving the Housesphere for the Meatsphere reveals people much prettier than I remembered (I rewrote that last sentence and it used to have the metaphor "like a pervert exposing himself at a playground"). And, for whatever reason, the Starbucks girl's Charisma and Beauty gained +10 points since I last visited (I think that was a Dungeons & Dragons joke - I'll slam my genitals in the car door to remind me not to ever do that again). She's slightly more flirtatious with the older male clientele that clearly have paying jobs. Those guys possess that swagger that says, "Please ask about my uncontrollable libido." I see this all while I look up from my big, thick book that makes me look like I'm a serious, dedicated person - which I am not.
6. I resolve to not use genital punching/slamming references for 2 weeks. At least I'll try.
7. However much I joke about drinking (which I'm trying to stop doing because drinking jokes are really hacky), I don't actually do it much. I'll order a beer or two at a slow paced restaurant, which is once every month or two. Sometimes I'll indulge if I'm out with friends, but this must stop because I have no money. The point being that my alcohol consumption in a given month is probably less than two beers. Because, frankly, it doesn't taste that great (esp. wine). I'd rather just have a Slurpee and sniff an ether-soaked rag.
8. Going through the cached URLs in one of the browsers I use for testing, I came across this Middle East geography game. I missed three (Azerbaijan, Tajikstan, Krygyzstan), and I'd probably miss them again if I took the little quiz again.
9. Songs people have erroneously attributed to being written by The Clash or The Kinks that are actually by other bands with "The (collective noun)" nomenclature:
Louie, Louie (The Kingsmen)
Turning Japanese (The Vapors)
My Sharona (The Knack)
Wild Thing (The Troggs)
The Lion Sleeps Tonight (The Tokens)
10. Away I go. Whatever sordid thoughts you may have can be shared via my cellular voice telephone, which I may or may not have with me. Good night, love.
-Kid Tetris, who takes some getting used to.
