The t-shirts and sweatshirts that say "AUSTIN" or "BROOKLYN" or what have you: I lived in unincorporated King County until a few years ago - when we were annexed. Our address didn't change - we used the city name in the address before the annexation - but a part of me still enjoys the freedom of lower property taxes in unincorporated King County. The point was that "Unincorporated King County" would be an odd thing to put a shirt.
The communities that have a lot of older, rich people belong on hooded sweatshirts, too: LAURELHURST, MEDINA, CLYDE HILL, YARROW POINT, WOODWAY, MERCER ISLAND.
In all seriousness, I still want this shirt, partially to see how many people think I'm just trying to "ironic" and how many people recognize it as a reference to Newcastle United.
Some horoscopes, but I'm not really sure how many signs there are or what people call them:
Sign #1. You'll play Nora Helmer in a community theater production of "A Doll's House." It will have poor reviews, but be spirited and noble in its interpretative efforts of Ibsen, who can be difficult.
Sign #2. Your parents will discover that secret thing you have in your room.
Sign #3. You'll lose your cell phone.
Sign #4. Your favorite baseball team is the Minnesota Twins.
Sign #5. You choose to use Christmas lights that are not UL-listed and they end up burning the nativity scene to the ground.
The Answer Key
a.) Choose a friend to pick your spouse. Why them? Why not me?
Anyone except Scott Baio is acceptable.
b.) Favorite kind of pie.
Blackberry, boysenberry or pumpkin.
c.) Get married in a strip club (during operating hours, ceremony performed by the DJ) or a Star Trek theme wedding (ceremony performed by a Klingon, in Klingon).
Strip club, provided it's a classy one and not a mining-town "titty bar"
d.) Pick one: crazy environmentalist or crazy religious fundamentalist.
I think I'd rather be around the fundamentalist.
e.) Pick a half-hour to an hour of your life to relive.
That one day in 10th grade
f.) You're a superhero by night. What is your daytime occupation?
Thought leader
g.) Force me to drink beet juice or drink sauerkraut juice.
Sauerkraut juice
h.) I'd rather be a: duck (fly + swim) or mongoose (eat snakes).
The mongoose has awful predators like lions, jackals, hawks and pythons and can't fly. I'd rather be a duck. The webbed feet thing is cute, too.
i.) Choose a band to be your boy/girlfriend (you are dating the entire band).
Neko Case and Her Boyfriends
j.) Same as #i, except the band has to have had a Behind the Music.
Donny & Marie Osmond
k.) My legs are cut off while I'm fighting pirates. You bring me a cake in the hospital. What does the cake have written on it?
Either "POISON - DO NOT EAT" or "May I have this dance?" (or something equally insensitive).
l.) Favorite prom/homecoming/high school dance scene from a movie or TV show.
Let's say Encino Man.
