I saw a guy wearing a pin the other day and I don't know what the pin was - goldish something - but I had a hard time taking him or any pin-wearer seriously. It's just too close to the kitschy broaches old ladies wear. If the pin is for a certain political ideology or cause, it's even worse. There was this woman I saw shopping - pushing a stroller and wearing a 'Not my president' shirt. Relatively speaking, we aren't terribly far from Canada and there's some international air traffic and she could've seceded, but I kind of believe that the man pictured on her shirt was her president. I'm going to start selling T-shirts with a picture of the Australian women's beach volleyball team that say "Not my 2000 women's Olympic beach volleyball champions" (because Brazil lost to Australia, you'll recall) I'll sell them in Brazil. I need it in Portuguese. It'll be something like: "N�o meus campe�es olympicos do volleyball da praia da mulheres" It should be clear that I don't know any Portuguese.
Of shopping, I think Ikea ought to consider reconfiguring their store. The singular path has a number of icky side effects, like seeing the same assholes throughout your entire trip. It's also very neutering. That place pisses me off to no end.
I (heart) lemon-lime Gatorade. Forget the commercials with sweaty boys and girls doing sweaty things. Hype the flavor and bright yellow-green color. Not "extreme" - just even and well-suited to many situations - athletic events, fancy luncheons, Easter brunches, dinner parties and late night rendevous (that's supposed to be plural - should it be "rendevouses"?) at classy downtown night clubs. If lemon-lime Gatorade were a deity, I'd be devout.
Who keeps the metric system down? We do.
I invented/discovered a new kind of fetish/pornographic interest today: low-ranking twenty-something consultants sitting around the house trying to figure out their insurance plans. It is HOTTT!!! Imagine this in an adult video store: "I'm looking for a future top tier MBA sitting on a hunter green sofa in grey boxers (because it is a warm day) reading MetLife dental literature. He or she should, at the time, be staffed lightly on client billable work, since that seems to make them a little more tense and I like the relaxed, warm, cozy aura they give off when they are doing internal work with less firm deadlines (unless it's a proposal - I don't want them on any proposals). I want them low-ranking enough that they aren't trusted around clients." "Yes, we have that. It's in the back. Give me a second." "I can hardly wait."
Growing up with a Scandinavian grandmother and relatives, I had the opportunity to eat gravlax at a few of family gatherings. It's cured salmon. But the name - graaawww-vlaaawwwx - sounds like a high-tech gravy or maybe a grape-flavored sports bar. But it sounds most like a brand name for a medication: Gravlax (gratodine volaxinol) is a registered trademark of GlaxoSmithKline. It is used in the treatment of neurosyphilitic paresis (syphilis-induced insanity). Consult a physician to see if Gravlax is right for you.
