Tomorrow I move. At least partially. Maybe fully. I don't know. And in so doing, we are reminded of the last time I moved, when it was so sunny that day, or the last time you moved, when we sat and selfishly contemplated the trajectories of our own lives while you drove away, well above the speed limit. But no one could blame you.
The day drips along. The very last pieces of the workweek finally falling in, saying "Hello" while everyone in the room kind of stares at it with a half sneer on their face for its apparent tardiness.
Today, while sitting in a raucous Vietnamese place, I began to wonder how long it would take me to eat in every Asian restaurant in a reasonable vicinity of my office. Lately I've been avoiding chains because, although you usually know what you're going to get, it's also usually slick and kind of bland, and I'm not spending all kinds of money on this, so I'd limit it to these cheap, hole-in-the-wall, mom-and-pop type places. I'm still not sure why I'm drawn to these Asian restaurants that are basically dives, other than the price and sense of adventure I get from ordering things I'm not really sure about.
There's this woman who works on a different floor, so I really only see her when I venture to that floor or during Big Unnecessary Meetings. A few weeks ago at a Big Unnecsesary Meeting, I heard her swear. The context of the swear was a story that wasn't very believable. The story was one that you start telling, then you realize that it sucks so you embellish it near the end to make the audience feel validated. Anyway, she swore at work and, never having talked to her, I wonder if I should introduce myself as "I'm fucking K. I'm a fucking consultant. It's nice to meet you."
The commercial for Aquafresh Extreme Clean (when did toothpaste become 'extreme'? Why would toothpaste need to be 'extreme'? What does an 'extreme' toothpaste have that a regular toothpaste doesn't? Is extreme toothpaste the product of years and years of government funded research into toothpaste or was it one of those instantaneous breakthroughs when someone started swishing inert gases around in their mouth (liquified, of course) and noticed how extreme it was?) is possibly the worst toothpaste commercial ever. And it's all because of one shot. A woman brushing her teeth under a shower. Shower = cleaning method. Brushing teeth = cleaning method. But never the two shall meet. It's just fucking sick to see someone brushing their teeth in the shower, okay? You agree with me.
Also, on the Aquafresh Extreme Clean link to drugstore.com - does it bother you that the same e-place you would buy toothpaste, shampoo, deoderant, etc. is a place you can buy sundry items for your 'sexual well-being'? Not just condoms and lubricants like a normal drugstore, but also some other stuff that no one really expects to find in a drugstore - look. It's kind of strange, if you ask me.
Speaking of e-commerce, I saw a guy pushing a handtruck full of cookies around and he was wearing a shirt with a e-something-or-other.com address on it so I thought of ePie (cookies are similar to pie, but also different). I went to the site and you can order maybe 1/4 of their services via the website. They do typical lunch crap, mostly. I bet you'd have to phone in an order for 250 cookies. Online catering isn't a really rich, deeply integrated place. There was a time when you could probably make money slapping sites like this together - quick and dirty - but I don't think that's the case anymore. It's an evolved marketplace.
