Cherry + pineapple = Those three electric seconds before you were caught shoplifting various things stuffed down your pants (4 Snickers, 2 bottles of Mad Dog and a box of condoms).
Lemon + coconut = You were making out with a girl wearing lip gloss at an end of the year junior high dance. Oddly, she thinks it is an endearing affectation to only allow people to see her eat Lemonheads in public. You agree with me that this is actually quite sickening.
Cantaloupe + chocolate = There's no such thing as a chocolate martini.
Banana + peanut butter = People make fun of you after you let it slip that you went to sixth grade camp twice. Because you were held back a year.
Black licorice + cauliflower = The same girl who wears lip gloss and eats Lemonheads that gave you those tonguey kisses in the darkened movie theater dumps you on the phone, after you had purchased her an R&B CD for her birthday. You hate R&B.
Orange + bourbon = Your parents went to Home Depot, so you drank half a can of orange Slice and topped the can off with some of your dad's Jim Beam. You took a walk on a gravelly path through the park, getting drunk silently and secretly. You get sick in near a bench and she sees you from her friend's window.
Root beer + watermelon = She calls you to make sure you are okay, after seeing you vomit quite a bit. A cheerful, half-lie reply that doesn't hurt anybody and you invite her over the following day. You give her the CD when she comes over, but she already has another guy. He works at the skating rink. How can you compete with that? You - you had to repeat the 6th grade and this guy has a source of income and free skate rentals.
