It's prom season, too. What does that mean? It's the very BEST time to go to restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night, around 6-8pm. Why? Because it's filled with kids in tuxedoes and fancy dresses. So festive. It's like a carnival.
So I've noticed in the past few months that when I see someone attractive my thoughts have drifted away from "I bet she's nice" to "I bet she could kick my ass." Today there was a girl on the bus and I couldn't help but imagine scenes from our future life together. These sort of lazy, incoherent daydreams mostly involve me watching Seinfeld reruns and she's throwing coffee mugs and firm fruit (apples, chunks of melon) at me from the kitchen or I'm laying on the floor reading and she starts smacking me with one those the small novelty souvenir baseball bats. Not in any intense, passionate way, though. Just in a very passive, disinterested way - like she's only doing something to occupy her hands - clicking a pen, knitting a scarf, kicking my ass. So anyway, if you see me show up to work covered in really bad bruises and maybe some blood-soaked gauze or a cast - feel good for me, because I'm probably in love.
George Saunders story that I missed. Which reminds me of a Halloween costume I thought of: find an old New Yorker cartoon and do that. If there's 2 people, you have to spend the entire evening together or it makes no sense. If there's a desert island, you have to have the desert island or it makes no sense.
These television shows where people are buying a house or redesigning or something like that - every single person says, "Well, I like to entertain." Everyone. And I think they are just saying that for the cameras. Some people say it so often that they want you to believe they are holding famous parties two or three times a week. But here's what I think: this never happens. They aren't going to entertain. They are exactly like everyone else. They watch television. And someone needs to be confrontational about this to make this parade of horrible self-delusion end. That's why I propose that a show gets a realtor that actually understands what these people's lives are based around and then only shows them houses that fits those needs. And when the object - "Oh, I'd like a bigger kitchen and an area to entertain in" - the Reality Realtor says, "You don't need that. You don't cook and don't seem to have any ambition to learn. And you don't have any parties. This house's television room is on the north side. See? No glare from the sun. Also, the yard is small so you don't have spend much time outside maintaining it. There's a nice huge basement for all that crap that's filling up your current place. I'd guess there's space for another 2 or 3 years worth of your crap."
