New intern at work. I'm going to call her Lucky, since she doesn't have to work with me. Someone pointed out that I'm one of those consultants that has very little patience for stupid people (maybe you can find a more patient one on eBay). It's not that at all, though. It's that I have little patience or interest in dealing with stupid people who think they aren't. If you know you're stupid, that's fine. I think this intern actually knows someone I went to high school with, so I'm not going to talk to her. We should endeavour to keep portions of our lives - the past, present, future and/or vocational, social, family - separate from each other. It's just cleaner that way. (Probably the strangest intersection of vocational and social was when I was sitting on a picnic table behind my friend's house with the girl I went to prom with [modest crush], drinking, throwing stuff into the lake and in idle chit-chat, she mentioned that in the summers she likes to break into the pool where I worked/my family is members at night and swim when the covers are on).
Xtreme Banana Bread (WITH 200% MORE BANANA)
First, I found a recipe for banana bread that wanted 1 banana, some sour cream and like 5 tbsp of butter. I had 3 bananas, no sour cream and I wanted to see if I could get away with using less butter. I didn't want to make 3 loaves, either. So I jammed the AWESOME POWER of 3 bananas into one 8x4 loaf, because banana bread doesn't taste enough like bananas. Here's my commercial for it:
[INT. KITCHEN - Nerdy glasses wearing/pocket protectored child eating normal banana bread]
VOICE: Hey loser. What the hell's wrong with you and your banana bread? [ pause ] It's not XTREME enough!
[BEGIN BACKGROUND MUSIC - ROCK, WAILING GUITARS, ETC]
VOICE: Xtreme Banana Bread contains 200% MORE BANANA [3 professional weightlifters dressed as bananas enter and beat the crap out of the nerdy child and stuff a slice of their banana bread down his throat. Hypnotic spinning-ness like in the old Batman show occurs and the child is transformed into something cooler with sunglasses, a skateboard and brightly colored clothing]. [VOICE IS NOW SCREAMING] ARE YOU XTREME ENOUGH FOR XTREME BANANA BREAD?
Alternately, this commercial could be done with a grown man at a beach with girls.
Ingredients
3 bananas, slightly overripe (to make them xtreme overripe, toss them in the freezer for a few hoursand take them out - they'll be mushy when they've defrosted)
2 eggs
little dash of lemon juice (normal banana bread leaves this out and it turns brown, but lemon juice keeps it a nice, bright yellow color that I find appealing [a-peel-ing - bananas? get it?])
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup of flour (adjust if batter's too thin)
1 tsp baking powder (I could actually taste the alluminum from the baking powder the last time I made this, which makes me think I need a fresh can of the stuff or I need to buy Rumford)
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
6 tbsp sugar
3 tbsp butter, softened
some pecans, chopped - maybe 1/4 to 1/3 cup
Mash the bananas. Mix the wet goods. Mix the dry goods (sugar and butter are included in the dry, but it doesn't really matter). Add the wet to the dry. Mix in the pecans. Pour into a prepared 8x4 loaf pan. Bake @ 350 for 40-50 mins/until a stick comes out clean.
