So anyway, this wedding that I'll probably end up going to. This one should be okay, since there will be guys there who ironically refer to their arms as pythons and have much worse problems than me.
2004-06-17
A few months ago I was being inundated with announcements of marriages. This cooled off a bit, what with the marriage season (like hunting deer, digging for clams and snow skiing, there's only a certain few months that you can get married) but today I did receive two pieces of Actual Hold it in Your Hand Mail that reminded me of the few months ago (the Marriage Preseason) (akin to how goofy toys, Aeron chairs and Pets.com stock certificates remind us of the dotcom era). The first was an official wedding invitation, printed on Beautiful Paper in Serious Typeface (with the word "cocktails" spelled incorrectly). The second was from Pottery Barn. While everyone was announcing their marriage in the marriage preseason, I decided to set up my own wedding registry. It was addressed to my wife-to-be, Isabella TiVo-Tetris (because, you know, since girls don't like me I had to give my DVR a girl's name and marry it). It was just funny to see mail addressed to Isabella TiVo-Tetris. There's nothing at Pottery Barn I'm interested in owning, so I switched my registry to Amazon. Instead of saying "FURNISH MY KITCHEN, BATHROOM AND LIVING ROOM" (also, who the fuck do you think you are to ask for a $98 gravy boat?) I can say "HELP ME ENTERTAIN MYSELF BY BUYING ME DVDs AND TOYS." (for $98, you could get 3 or 4 Criterion Collection DVDs)
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