Your request must be typewritten and include the full names of the couple, the date of their event and the approximate time of day. We need their addresses, schooling and occupations. Also mention any noteworthy awards that the couple may have received, as well as charitable activities and/or special achievements. We also ask that you tell us how the couple met.
We also require information on the residences and occupations of the couple�s parents. Please include this information even if the parents are no longer living.
Perfect! Here I go.
Kid Leviticus Sebastian Mordecai Tetris and this girl were married a few days ago.
Mr. Tetris has led a remarkable life. He is the son of a famous industrialist and a French prostitute, but he was raised by the ambassador to South Africa, so he knows Nelson Mandela and stuff. He went to Oxford and the Sorbonne and studied hard stuff so you know he's really smart and he's a knight, too. Also, he's appeared on the 50 most beautiful people list a few times and gives a bunch of money to poor kids or something. He has won 12 gold medals in both the summer and winter Olympics. The bride is female, aged 20-40 years and may or may not be an American citizen. The couple met when they were both helping poor kids chew their food or do their homework or clip toenails. Something like that. I forget - I was kind of drunk.
Mr. Tetris' parents - His Excellency the Archduke of Tetris and Lady Tetris - live in an enchanted castle made of gold and rainbows on top of a mountain. They breed unicorns in their spare time and enjoy racing dragons. Also, they know magic.
