And my week really coasted to a gentle conclusion after that. I got very little accomplished, but read a few books and made my favorite spaghetti meal yesterday (while my parents ask me to watch the dog while they run to Target, and actually go gambling) and a roast today.
Ideas for Las Vegas casinos:
Judaitron! - A futuristic, techno-Judeo themed casino. Lots of spaceships and Talmudic imagery. I picture something like the interior of Tron, Star Trek or the Death Star, except the characters are all modeled after Jewish personalities - Captain Moses, Lieutenant Abraham, etc. Would have broad crossover appeal between sci-fi guys and those interested in Jewish folklore. Could be marketed as an alternative to a pilgrimage to Israel.
The MGM Bubonic - Sort of like "Medieval Times", except with plague.
Loch Ness - This seems obvious. They have the Parisian, the Venetian, why not Loch Ness? Big indoor pool, a restaurant that serves haggis and deep fried crap, etc.
Grand Theft Auto - Modeled after the video game. The staff would have a few 'characters' who ran around in 'stolen' golf carts and periodically shot people with coupons. Could save money by not having a housekeeping staff, as unkempt rooms would add to the theme.
El Televisor - TV themed. Could get expensive licensing all the different TV properties, but who wouldn't want to play backgammon in a room that looks like the Golden Girls living room? Or make out in a room that looks like Dawson Leery's bedroom? I'm surprised this hasn't been done yet, as this is actually a frighteningly brilliant idea. You could skirt licensing by just making the replicas of the rooms and refer to them as intentional misspellings - "Gold Girls living room" or "Dewson Lawry's room from the show Dewson's Creek".
The Office - This would be a casino that looks like an office, with cubicles and everything. It would have unpleasant fluorescent lighting and gray carpet. Could put card games on things that look like copiers, and that would "jam" once in a while and steal the money that has been bet.
NEW HALLOWEEN CANDY REVIEWS
For whatever reason, our candy overlords have rained down upon us a hailstorm of grossitude.
HALLOWEEN KIT-KAT: It's white chocolate colored orange. Since white chocolate is gross, this should go back for re-tooling. It tastes like a Pauly Shore movie, but not Encino Man. The candy bar that tastes like Encino Man is, obviously, a Whatchamacallit or a .
HERSHEY'S S'MORES: Here's my theory on this one. Hershey (NYSE: HSY) sees that people are using their chocolate bars to make s'mores and figures they could internalize the whole process. Well choke on your hubris, Milton Hershey. This thing is fucking gross. One of the glaring issues this has is that a) the marshmallow tastes like poison and b) there's an incorrect distribution of the whole graham/mallow/chocolate melange. This candy makes you want to rinse your mouth out with gasoline to get rid of the weird marshmallow taste. Put these in the "for donation" pile if they wind up in your pile. Just wretched.
NESTLE BUTTERFINGER CRISP: First, Butterfingers are gross. About the only candy bar I'm less excited to see is a Mr. Goodbar (tastes like sadness) or the one that's just peanuts and godawful nougat ("Nut Roll"?), so this one had a lot of problems staring it in the face from the beginning. The "Butterfinger Candy Creme" is awful - gave me a stomach ache. It tastes like a yellowish-brownish-orangish color. It's utterly devoid of joy - it was made in Venezuela. Somehow they have captured America's impression of South America (governance issue, kidnapping, corruption, bad water, barefoot children, soccer) in a candy bar. Let us forget this was ever made.
One of the over-riding problems is that these are really reformatting existing things. Stop that. Get new ideas and stab yourself in the leg with scissors if you get the urge to put that marshmallow stuff into anything. And a tip: use more peanut butter. It's very difficult to go wrong with peanut butter.
