The last time I purchased a birthday card for someone I spent 4 afternoons looking through blank cards to find "the right one" and when I found one that I wasn't offended by, I spent another 30 minutes shuffling around the store like a maniac trying to find something else to buy, since I guess I believe you can't buy a card alone. This is the exact the reason you will never get a birthday card from me and why you will only ever get gift certificates or joke gifts from me - simple, passive gifts which don't cause me to consider my sexual politics or views on how the elderly should be treated.
At the end of my work day, I like to hit the elevator button twice. Pressing it once before you actually intend to go on the elevator generally results in less people on the actual elevator trip. After you press it the first time, go grab a drink of water or hide in the bathroom.
ET CETERA
Speaking of work, I haven't had a whole lot to do lately. It's given me time to explore new ventures, though. I'm going to start sailing! I started noticing how many nautical metaphors I could apply to my job PLUS I love the sea! This is going to work out unbelievably, I can already tell.
The 7up Plus stuff, you know? It's like 5 calories? If you drink a lot of it, it tastes like cough syrup, except you just get a stomach ache instead of that hazy drunk feeling.
My new celebrity crush is Caroline Dhavernas. The way Canadians say "proverbial" (pro-verbial, not pruh-verbial) - it sounds very measured and careful.
When you get a new celebrity crush, you need a new album crush. It's "Several Arrows Later" by matt pond PA. Try "Halloween" and "Emblems."
