A) I am an expensive intern. I do about as little as they do, except I spread it out over 12 months instead of 3. Doesn't really explain why I have full benefits, though.
B) I am a placeholder. They set up a job for someone a year or two early and I'm just hear to keep the spot in the budget open. Once this person is available, I get canned. Would also explain why I do very little.
C) I am the consequence of simple budget hogging as a power grab. This is the most appealing to me. Boss guy just managed to win more than he could use in the budget lotto, so here I am. Listening to audio books all day and drinking bizarre amounts of diet soda.
D) I slipped through the cracks of the universe. I kind of like this one, too. It basically posits that through a bizarre series of accidents, I have landed a nice paying job that has zero responsibility.
E) I am just like everyone else. This theory states that no one does anything. This is pretty believable, but I'd be pretty surprised if it were true. There's some people who seem to do work, but I can't really tell what they are doing. Some thing do seem to get done, but I don't really know how long it took.
