2005-12-05

Background: after every suicide bomber attack, leaders of countries will "condemn" the attack. Today I heard a leader "strongly condemn" an attack.

Here's the problem: you're watering down your regular contempt! It creates a cycle where regular contempt is gone and only strong contempt exists. Contempt isn't scarce enough!

The answer: Make contempt scarce with Contempt Points. Each year, a leader is given 100 Contempt Points. They can use them as they choose when they condemn something. For example, when condemning an attack you would say, "I condemn that attack 15." You have 85 left for the rest of the year.

Some rules:
1. Contempt Points expire at the end of the contempt year, but you may borrow Contempt Points from future contempt years at a steep interest rate (50% - i.e. if you borrow 20 Contempt Points from next year to use today, then you would only have 70 left next year).
2. Your Contempt Point totals are kept track of by the Internal Council on Contempt. If you borrow too much contempt (your contempt account for next year has become negative), then you must retroactively adjust your contempt (this must be stated, with a reason, along with whatever you are condemning- "I shrink my contempt for the March 19th NCAA Tournament riots from 18 to 9 because I was being hasty and I only made it that high because I wanted votes in the area in which it was happening. My contempt for the June 15th Dave Matthews Band massacre is adjusted from 14 to 12, because, while it remains sad, it isn't that sad when you think about it. My initial contempt for the most recent tragedy is 8, leaving me with 3 Contempt Points.")
3. When you die, any outstanding contempt points expire with you.
4. If you die while you have borrowed Contempt Points, then all your contempt is adjusted until you are in balance.
5. Each week, the International Council on Contempt will publish a scorecard of leaders, events and the contempt leaders had for those events.
6. When you die, the list of events that you had contempt for will be published alongside with your obituary as well as a list of notable events that you did not have contempt for.

The Contempt Futures Exchange
You may also trade your excess Contempt Points, but only for future Contempt Points. If it is August and you have 100 left, you may trade it to someone who needs some contempt today for some of their contempt next year. The discount rate on this contempt transaction can fluctuate.

If you sell your current contempt for their future contempt and you die, then your contempt expires and their accounts must adjusted. Likewise, if they die and they have your today contempt, you get your today contempt back and you lose your next year contempt.

If English had a governing body for the language like French, then we could probably police this stuff more easily. Still, I think the UN could probably do something about it.

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