Episode 1: Me
Hey MTV, welcome to my crib. Actually, it's my parents crib. I live upstairs. Let's take a look.
We're all going to have squeeze in here, it's a bit tight. There's my bed in the corner. It's a full size, I think it's nice. There's a light blue pillow case that I am really fond of - you can see I have 5 pillows on my bed. Some people would call that "gay" but it's what's comfortable. You'll notice the nice view of the 20" television on top of a dresser. That has a built-in DVD player. There's a Tivo sitting under it - I have the lifetime subscription. You are not a baller unless you have a lifetime subscription. Right next to the TV is my desk and there's my computer. And you can see my closet. I like sweaters and non-iron shirts. Okay, behind you is a bookcase. Should I hold up my favorite book and say something about it? No? Okay. Let's move on and take a look at the bathroom. It's even smaller than this room, so we'll just stand in the hall.
I share the bathroom with my sister, she's in high school. That's why there's so much make up and crap all over the place. In the corner you can see my electric toothbrush. There's nothing much to see here. Let's go downstairs.
In the kitchen, what is it that people usually say? That they never cook? I do cook. I enjoy baking things. Let's look in fridge. It's a total disaster, because that's how we roll. There's probably some old meat that no one is ever going to eat and a few quarts of milk. Check out the cheese drawer - there's a lot of it. I love cheese. Okay, and in the freezer there's a bunch of old bread and chicken breasts. That's what we do - we buy bread, we don't eat, then we freeze it. Same thing with chicken breasts.
Okay, let's go outside and check out my rides. There's a bicycle. And here's a bus pass. And there's my car - it's a VR6 GTI. One might consider it a collectible, I guess, since they don't make VR6 GTIs anymore. I do not have a Playstation or any TVs in the car, so there is no point in looking inside. Let's go out back.
Here's the back yard. There's a grill under the cover and a hacked-together smoker I made. There's some patio furniture. There's a shed that has the chairs to patio furniture - we only take the chairs out for like 3 or 4 months a year. Don't step on the grass - we get unusually poor drainage here in the back yard and you'll get shoes muddy.
That's all, MTV. Drive safely.
