I thought I cured it by drinking 6 Coke Zeros a day for a few days. But I stopped and it returned. I'm just going to keep drinking Coke Zero, reminding myself that with each delicious can I am 12 oz closer to curing my angle pee. Or 12 oz closer to living through angle pee. We don't really know enough about the disease to say conclusively that soda cures it or that it's fatal, though we can assume it is, just by thinking about it for a little while.
People sometimes ask, "What is it like suffering from an emerging disease?" And the answer is, "It sucks." However, other angle pee patients can confirm this, suffering from the disease brings you closer to enlightenment, because you meditate a lot, mostly about what you did to deserve angle pee. When you get up you're all like, "I get it. I GET the universe." You walk around and are like, "My pee is horribly wrong, but my mind is clear, like a sheet of cellophane wrapped around a piece of meat." You can see everything in its constituent parts and how they fit together. Don't confuse this with the crap the people at Phish concerts talk about - that is garbage. I'm saying that we could have an angle pee president if it weren't so deadly (why was Franklin Roosevelt so wise? Because he had polio. Polio makes you smart, sort of like a watered down, non-alcoholic O'Doul's version of angle pee. This explains why the Russians were able to get into space first - because we did the polio vaccine and stuff)
In other news, there was an unkown $50 bill in my wallet from, I guess, a cashier giving me a $50 instead of a $5 when I got change. I used my $45 windfall to buy a pair of pants. The pants are pretty good.
Also discovered this:
philosophy -> phyllo-sophy
Philosophy is Greek. Phyllo is Greek. Is this anything? Probably. I'll keep exploring.
