I think I want a new job. But who is going to hire someone as sickly as me? They'll take one look at me, ultrainfection'd up and full of tubes and metal things, and they'd be like, "Why would I hire this guy? He's going to die at any minute." Plus, there's some other stuff going against me like I'm lazy, unaccountable and get really pissy when you ask me to do something.
2006-07-17
For most of today my bum was vascillating between sort of achey/sore and numb, which I interpret as a symptom of polio or something like that - possibly something worse, that we've never heard of. Shoegazer hindquarters tetanus ultrainfection syndrome. It causes something like lockjaw, except it is lockbum. I am the first person with this. I should make out my will. I just bought some new furniture, so if you get any of that, you might want to ask for the receipt, too, so you can return it within 30 days. It will probably be infected with SHTUS, anyway, so it should be burned in a sterile furnace or shot into space, aboard unmanned spacecraft (or possibly piloted by someone with SHTUS) with the only direction setting being, "Get the hell away from earth, you sickie."
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