Kid Tetris

Here's a service I'm starting to browse websites at work. You send me an email with the website you want and your address. I print it out and use a yellow highlighter to point out all of the hyperlinks ("links") and then I mail it to you. Then you email me back with which link you want to click on (you say, "The 3rd link on page 2 - the one that says 'Do you have a drug problem?') (alternatively, you can send it back to me, with the link you want to click on circled or starred or someway indicated to know that is the one you would like sent back to you). Then the process repeats itself. If there is a text box, like if you are doing a google search, you will need to specify the words I should put in there. It will cost $1 per page, plus postage, with a $1 minimum. Express orders will also be available for an extra charge.

A girl sat next to me on the bus on the way home. She seemed unremarkable, the bus ride was uneventful and I doubt I will ever see her again.

But the QFC girl. Okay. Yes. This is probably the worst/best retail crush of my life. Completely. I saw her again today, since I ran out of cheese. My heart goes a 1,000x a minute, start breathing a little faster, feet get heavy, ears get warm. I feel like a cop is pulling me over when I see her. For an image, she's sort of reminds me of Zooey Deschanel in "The Good Girl" but mostly for the kind of oddly detached way of going about her business. I need to stop thinking about her and I need to find a new grocery store OR I need her to slap me around for a while and then we can sit down to a nice meal in a fine dining restaurant.

I'm going to go play video games and drink hard liquor with some other geniuses. Have a good Thursday evening.