Kid Tetris

Here is an okay way to get me to do something at work: talk to the research director, since he controls the research agenda and I am supposed to work on doing stuff on that. Here is the passive-aggressive/pretty shitty way: give it to the hopeless intern who sits next to me who doesn't know forks from fucks and asks me to "help" him at least twice a day. This is why I look for a new job when I get home. Every single day. And then go to my Dorky Fat Men's Anger Collective meetings for rage and coffee cake.

I had an odd discussion with someone who also has imaginary girlfriends - he's just awkward, though, he's handsome enough that girls actually like him. When you go to, say, a restaurant where your imaginary waitress girlfriend works - is it better she is there or not? For the there side, it makes the dining experience more intense and memorable, and it feels like you've accomplished something after (even though you haven't). For the not side, you experience the coup de vie of realizing how stupid it is to have gone there and you can eat your meal in peace.

There was a pilot that used a song with an annoying voice effect for about 3 minutes longer than it should've. It just sounded like some guy was twirling knobs to obscure how awful the lyrics sound (did you rhyme "pain" with any of the following: candycane, insane, in vain, rain or gain?).

I'm going to start a private school that instills my values in children. These include: fervent disgust for famous people, a healthy fear of being poor and passive-aggressively making fun of people. Give generously, because children are the future, I guess.