In truth, though, I think success is having enough money to be able to flee the country to anywhere in the world, likely someplace with favorable extradition policies, and by that measure I am doing pretty dang well. My mother's gift to me this year was a sideways look and the comment that "You know, normal boys your age have girlfriends." Zing! She would probably have problems decoding the subtlety in a Leni Riefenstahl movie.
There's a shared drive at work that some people use for their personal stuff. It is wrong to look at the stuff, but it's there and looking at it never gives you good feelings. It's the feeling you get when you use someone's computer and you see their past google searches are stuff like "how many calories are there in 10 cans of pork and beans (except i did not put sour cream on them this time)" or "tell me that story about the killed bird that was killed because he wouldn't shut the fuck up" - you just can't look at this person the same way and you actively try to ignore them at lunch.
I need to find some new friends. The current crop is just wearing me down. I can't keep up with their current substance abuse regime anymore. Mornings are nightmares and you lose track of days and weeks. Even when sober the 3am phone calls get old quickly. Just need to find some people who aren't well qualified for 12-step programs.
I just realized that the blond girl on "Minor Accomplishments" is the older sister in the "Beethoven" dog movies.
