Kid Tetris

It's hard to talk to my mom in December. She's normally about 15 seconds away from telling me I should get married. In December it's down to more like 6 or 7 seconds. There's a lot of things that bring that to the surface - namely the family that we spend Christmas with - but she just wants me to have a really average life. I have different goals - I'd really like to be rich enough to be a "layabout" and, live simply and deliberately, like Hank Thoreau, to just spend most of my day watching movies and drinking soda, contemplating things, maybe writing screeds about syndicated TV shows.

Or teaching.

Winter 2007 Course Schedule
Tetris University
College of Arts & Sciences, Undergraduate Division

Philosophy 201: Suffering and Society
In which I send you periodic emails about perceived injustices against me and complain about the ugly children I often see. They are so ugly.

Computer Science 142: Doing Computers
You'll make sure there is no evidence of the more shameful purposes that my computer sometimes serves. You'll be graded on thoroughness and speed.

Music 203: Contemporary Musical Expression
I will provide a list of songs I listened to in the last few days. You will write essays about the songs. You may be asked to defend your beliefs while you are completely wasted in a dive bar.

Economics 330: Economic History
You will review my banking records for any errors that might need to be adjusted in my favor and also do my taxes. You will be graded on how large my tax bill or refund is.

Communications 401: Post-Industrial Mass Entertainment
Course assignments involve watching the same television programs as me and discussing them.

Psychology 325: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Passive Aggression and Erotophobia
You will write letters to the Social Security office, explaining each of my problems and their respective, debilitating effects on my life, and request that I begin receiving checks immediately. This course satisfies the composition and rhetoric requirement.