1) Open a can of Coke Zero.
2) Leave at room temperature for 8 hours.
3) "Enjoy."
A while ago I blew open the door on the ugly under-current of racism in Saved by the Bell. Today I want to blow open the door on the ugly under-current of homophobia and highly prescriptive gender roles in SBtB.
For the most egregious example of homophobia in SBtB, let's open our texts to page "Pinned to the Mat", in which there is a Valley wrestler named "Nedick" - pronounced 'need-dick' - that they must defeat, so Zack wins a motorcycle. Yes, they must defeat The Need-Dick to win the ultra-butch dirtbike. Do I have to go on? In the same episode, they resist allowing Slater to develop a broader sense of masculinity when his quiche burns and he pins the aforementioned gay-monster in the last 2 minutes of the show. Again, watching this show with the benefit of undergraduate literature classes lets us see that Saved by the Bell was essentially a propaganda vehicle for pre-Civil Rights-era cultural norms.
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A mass email.
Hey [insert name]!
How ya doing? Did you catch the [sporting event] last night? Let me introduce myself - my name is [insert a 'hip' name, like "Devyn" or "Gavyn" or something, just pick something off of an MTV person with complicated hair] and I am ready to be your personal Content Strategist.
What do I do? I help you to DELIVER VALUE to your audience by aligning their needs with your core competencies. Sounds pretty awesome, huh? Let me give you an example.
Have you heard of CUIL? It is cuil.com. It's a search engine, like GOOGLE. You enter words in it and tries to find things - it is pretty cool, so that's is its name, CUIL. Anyway, it is new. And you could DELIVER VALUE to your readers by pointing them to COOL STUFF like CUIL and then giving your take on it. You can spend 15 or 20 seconds giving it a spin, then you can post your opinon! Everyone wants to read that - it draws on your unique set of competencies, both as a reader of websites and a user of search engines.
So you see what I do - I help you find and give shape to the content that your audience needs, from which your audience derives value. That's just one example, though - if you have a digital camera or a mobile telephone with camera capabilities, I can help you decide on things to photograph. If you live in Seattle, I might suggest the SPACE NEEDLE or the PIKE PLACE MARKET. There are many ways I can help you deliver value.
Give me a shout and we can set up a time to talk on our iPhones or over a Skype call [let reader know you are on top of communication things] and discuss my billing rates and all that boring business stuff. Later!
(I'm not really sure who I am mocking here)
