Kid Tetris

In the shower this morning, I was thinking that you could probably make a cracker or bread with shampoo. I'm thinking about the flavored (BrE: flavoured) kind - the kind with the coconuts and mango-passion fruit and flowers and what have you. I'm not saying it would be great, but if you were starving - it's there. And I can imagine a situation where I might. Like it's the holidays, everything is closed. It's 4am. I have some baking soda, a jar of mustard and some flavored shampoo. I think it's a safe bet that by 5am I am rolling around on the floor puking up a stomach full of shampoo.

My formula for a sure-fire Oscar contender: low lighting, period costume, and pensively whisper abstruse phrases into the camera for 2.5 hours.

Whole Foods has a sign in their bakery that says something like "we use the same bread slicers for conventional and organic bread" or something. I suppose it's thoughtful of them to put the sign there, but if it was prompted by anyone actually asking or people change their decision to buy sliced bread, it seems like those folks are taking their ideas about purity* a bit far. And maybe you can invent your own self-imposed dietary limitations, like "magnet-free foods" (the theory is that exposure to magnets messes with the electrons in the food and makes you die OR maybe it makes the electrons perfect and you live forever - it's your pick). Excuse me, waitron - do you know if the cows the beef came from were raised near any particle accelerators or magnetized medical equipment? My family, we are magnet free. Or magnet-only. Either one.

* - Purity and the psychological foundations of morality.

href="http://www.jaeger-lecoultre.com/na/en/watches/master-control/master-eight-days-perpetual-SQ">This is another watch I am quite taken with. It runs between a Maserati and an Aston. Just saying. My birthday is coming up.