Kid Tetris

At my old job, I'd write a lot when I had nothing to do (which was all the time). I wrote in emails that were never intended to go anywhere. And today I found a few, but here's one that I liked. It's a dialogue of a job interview.

Interviewer: What would you say your strengths and weaknesses are?
Hank: Unlike most superheroes, who have one big fatal flaw - Kal-El's aversion to kryptonite or Bruce Wayne's pornography addiction - I have a few minor ones. Sleeping, overeating and laziness. My superpowers are breathing fire, working too hard and loving too much.
I: who are the three superheroes - living or dead - that you would most want to wrestle?
H: Kal-El, obviously. But the other two would be Willy Wonka and John Elway, for mostly personal reasons.
I: I'm glad to see you can hold a grudge. We look for that in candidates. Tell me, what was your favorite class in either your undergraduate or graduate study?
H: While I was at The Sorbonne, I took a class in post-Nietzschean superhero theory that I really liked. While my graduate studies were much more quantitative in nature, this was humanities based and it really taught me that there's more to being a superhero than just preventing the end of the world. Superheroes form the basis of cultural activity and bear a great amount of ethical weight.
I: Indeed. How would you rate your computer skills?
H: Second to none. There's not a corner of the world to which I haven't handed an Everquest defeat.
I: Capital! Well then, do you have any questions for me?
H: How did you get into this business?
I: There was a time during the mid-70s when superheroes were losing battles right and left. They were recruiting at medical schools for in-house surgeons. It felt like the right opportunity. Once the go-go 80s started, the medical departments were outsourced to local hospitals, but I liked the business and I got offered a job in management. Been here ever since.
H: Where do you see the future of comic books going?
I: Forward, upward, shuttling into the future with little regard for the people it hurts.
H: What kind of material will this comic book be printed on?
I: Leather, silk or a high-thread count bed linens. It depends on what our quarterly numbers look like.
H: What kind of advertisements will there be in the book?
I: Just liquor, cigarrettes and phone sex.
H: I think that's about it. When do you think you'll make your decision?
I: Thursday or Friday. Let me walk you to the door.
H: Do you validate?
I: No.