Kid Tetris

1. FT has this thing where they put about 6 articles with a common theme in their little section, which I think is a little grandiose. Like last week there was "FT Alluminum" and "FT Derivatives" (the latter being kind of interesting [even if it was too focused on the logistical minutia of trading - CBOT/CMEX v Eurex, rather than derivatives themselves] and it called itself "Focus on a key financial market at a critical point" so you just naturally assume there will be "FT Mutual Funds" really soon) and today there was "FT Watches." WATCHES? What? Okay. There were these perfect little capsules about people who have a ton of money to blow on things that tell them the time. I liked this one, titled "The First Date" (emphasis mine): "Eric is desperate to impress the gorgeous Jessica. His only option is to demonstrate his own smooth sophistication by wearing an Asprey No 8 chronograph. | Jessica wants Eric to realise [sic, it's a British paper] from the outset that second best is simply not her style, so she plans to wear her Patek Philippe Twenty-4 on their first date."

Asprey No 8 chronograph: $5,000 and up
Patek Philippe Twenty-4: $6,000 to $20,000

I'll say that I'd be more impressed by a sack full of money, but I'm not one for the subtlety of watches. But watches are better than jewelry because at least a watch does something, even if it's almost nothing. And I do wear a watch - it was a gift. Though the only time I look at it is in the morning when I'm shaving and walking to work at the same time (if you saw me, you'd shake your head say "HOW DID THIS MAN EVER GET A JOB THAT REQUIRES HIM TO BE CLEAN SHAVEN?") while I silently mutter to myself "Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap") or when someone asks me the time (which always actually means "Do you want to have some sex?"). Anyway, for the sake of the watch industry just don't let anyone know that clocks are everywhere. There's one on your computer right now.

2. Interesting sentence: a balaclava-clad man held up a bottle shop. What's a balaclava? Is it anything like a baklava? No, it's just a ski mask.

3. To think it was just 3 years ago that the Fed wondered what it would do when all the debt was bought back.

4. Listen to the Pete and Pete theme song.

5. I want to have a friend that's completely normal in every conceivable way except for one thing. Like they are completely not interested in seeing a movie unless it's a gladiator movie - an OLD, AWFUL gladiator movie preferably or something really similar to a gladiator movie. Or they have an inexplicably large collection of memorabilia of an unlikely president - and their room is covered in murals that depict that president and this friend at historic events that they were not a part of ("Here's me and President Polk giving the Sermon on the Mount... here's us winning the Tour de France, Tandem Bike Division... and here's Polk and I in our zeppelin, which we co-piloted around the world, all chronicled in this 4,000 page diary with accompanying charts, maps, graphs and illustrations"). You know, someone crazy.

6. The Juice and Soda Sommelier Show. Have a bunch of a pretentious juice and soda fucks standing around gnoshing on expensive food saying, "Oh my... this would go perfectly with a Dr. Pepper." And another one says "Don't you think that something bolder would be a better match with these simple flavors? Like the pronounced cherry tones in Cheerwine would play off the sour backnotes in this dish?" And then a third guy says, "I really think this dish would benefit most from something completely different. A delicately balanced cola, perhaps - a distinct aftertaste, like an RC Cola." And then when they move on to a brunch one guy draws a line in the sand that Canadian Mountain Dew (which has no caffeine) would pair better with bacon than American Mountain Dew. And, of course, there's a fistfight.

7. The best Mr. Pibb (PiBB?) slogan? "Rise up with Mr. Pibb."