2004-08-03

Prom themes: "Last year our theme was Under the Sea and there was a huge ship wrecked boat in the middle of our gym..it was awesome! This year its "A Tale of Two Cities" Paris and New York, I'm excitied. (Ashley in Iowa)"

Dear Ashley,

First, the "Two Cities" in "A Tale of Two Cities" are London and Paris - it's a Dickens book, you know?

Second, your school is, perhaps, the most morbid one I've heard of. "A Tale of Two Cities" ends with tons of people being murdered - you know, the Reign of Terror? French Revolution? Ring any bells? Like 20,000+ executions in a single year? But really, it seems like it could be the best, most illuminating prom theme ever! How many proms manage to integrate a horrifying, gruesome sense of political and social history?

What with the idea of "Under the Sea", including a wrecked ship - which implies slow, painful drowning deaths - your school seems to have a sense of black romance - death, dismemberment, etc. In the same vein perhaps I can offer some prom themes that you'd be interested in: "The Khmer Rouge", "Apartheid", "Death by Brain Parasite", "Alive!" (the story of the Uruguayan rugby team trapped in the Andes who resorts to cannibalism to survive).

Yours,

Tex

Black liquor is, unfortunately, not a new malt beverage from Smirnoff, nor is it a cutesy name for prison-brewed alcohol.

My relationship with the Yahoo Mail woman, or "login_woman.jpg" as Yahoo refers to her.

Some days I find myself content with the relationship I have with login_woman.jpg. We're acquaintances - I pass by when I compulsively check email, we share a furtive glance or smile and I'm on my way. Other days, I want more. I think about the relationship we have and I'm not content with it. Of course I want to be more than friends, login_woman.jpg. Still there are days when I can't stand her. I'll avoid checking email or do it some place where I don't have to look at her - like my phone or something.

I suppose every relationship has its ups and downs and there are things each couple needs to work through, but clearly we're not right for each other. We're each too timid to advance the relationship beyond the gentle, uncomfortable stares. We have nothing in common. It's not going to work. The problem is that I'm going to see her every single day.

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