Alfredo sauce. I challenge you to find a pasta sauce that can get as bad as this. You cannot make up a fake one and use it - like lemons n' shards of glass. That's not a real sauce.
Seattle P-I. A great newspaper for people who find People, Us Weekly or Cracked to be a challenging read or enjoy calling into radio talk shows. I think that hobo who's always staring at his hands is a better source of news and information. One upside: there's no Family Circus in the comics section.
Fresca. The only soda ever conceived that is dumber than 'watery grapefuity' is the one I just thought up: Fresca with chunks of grapefruit floating in it.
Men who dress up like babies for Halloween. My skin crawls just thinking about this. Completely disgusting. They should be required to wear a tag that lists all their STDs and which emotional insecurities caused them to choose that.
Talking about leaves changing colors. I'd rather people talked about the weather, because all anybody says is "lookitthecolors". Other naturally occuring phenomena you can be impressed by: all plants in general (how do they eat? They don't have a mouth! So weird!). Old people (how do they get so old!?!?). Waves (Where do they come from!?!). Ants (look at how SMALL they are!!!!). Fire (OMG! Lookitthecolors!!!!111111). And, of course, clouds.
Remarking how much you dislike SUVs and/or have a special place in your heart for hybrid vehicles. Also make sure you comment about how the driver of the car you dislike is making up for some perceived physical impairment - no one ever gets tired of hearing that.
