Doug
Ryan
Justin
Jason
Mark
If you, like me, have 'enemies' and need some conversational deflators - statements to make in situations when enemies say something to boast about themselves and you need to draw the attention away from them - focus on sad stuff. Them: "I got an 1580 on my SAT" You: "Did you know that 25 million people in Africa have AIDS? 25 million. Geez." Or Them: "I was working at a Habitat for Humanity house today when -" You: "Seventy percent of female rape or sexual assault victims know their attacker." What can they say? Nothing. You have taken the wind out of their sails. It helps if you know a lot of these statistics offhand. You could write them down on a card or something and carry it in your pocket.
Some others to know:
80% of all violent crime occurs in the home or within 5 miles of the home. (So... should you consider moving?)
75% of kidnappings are committed by someone in the family or someone the family knows
(Crime statistics and CDC statistics are good sources)
Could also incorporate this strategy into the end of a stand-up routine just by using an anecdote:
I was in a bar last night and this old Marvin Gaye song comes on the jukebox [wait for a few seconds] Marvin Gaye was shot by his dad. His dad. Straight up killed him. Think about that. Dude was killed. By his dad. What would that be like? Your own dad? Guy takes you baseball games and then he's there. Killing you. Oh man. That's just... whoa. Okay, big round of applause for this next guy - really funny prop comic, his name is...
