Now try to be attracted to this person. This person who lists networking as a hobby. This person who probably reads those weird management self-help/ allegorical/ affirmation books ("LEADER - Losers Eat Andoullie Dinners Everyday, Retard!!! So don't eat sausage after 4pm! Power Leaders only eat yogurt after the sun sets! Remember the Seven Stages to Total Ultrasonic Success: Conceive, Believe, Leave, Retrieve, Receive, Achieve, Grieve.")
Women can tell if you want kids or have high testosterone levels. Just by looking at you. They can tell I'm a child-hating monster just by looking at me. It's terrible. Maybe I'll start wearing T-shirts that apologize for hating kids. Or maybe I'll just be more confrontational about it, like: "Sure, I hate kids, but they'll stop being kids when they grow up and I might like them someday. But you - you're a racist. Those people that YOU hate can't really stop being their race. Now who do you think the real jerk is? You are."
I found out what my cubicle neighbor does, and I think that she's acting out against me. She took away some data access from one of the overseas offices, right? I believe she said it was for legal or compliance reasons, but I know the real reason (she doesn't like me, that's why). So a couple of weeks after their access stopped, the people from the overseas office start calling me to run these stupid reports. I could be working on important things or watching You Tube videos or taking a nap in the bathroom, but my time is spent on this garbage. How I have turned the tables on her, though! All this stuff gets sent to the interns now. It's your move, cubicle neighbor.
