2006-11-29

I AM PROBABLY THE MOST TRUSTWORTHY PERSON YOU ARE ACQUAINTED WITH. SERIOUSLY.

My credit score is in the 800s (an event one traditionally celebrates by drinking bourbon and belting out "Fernando" [ABBA, 1976] or "Young Turks" [Stewart, 1981] to the disdain of ones neighbors) and I have a clean driving record, which proves I am trustworthy to everyone that matters. I also brush my teeth and vote regularly. How do I leverage the trust equity I have built up with creditors and dentists? In many ways.

-I am the ultimate character witness. I charge $1000 for a letter, $5000 for an appearance. There is a discount for repeat customers.

That's all I can really think of right now.

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