Kid Tetris

Lovely new shoes. I still have a terrible problem wearing shoes that are mostly leather-soled. It's like a newborn deer on a sheet of ice. Aldens, and other shoes with steel shanks running down the center, are good shoes for people who like attention because it can raise eyebrows at airport security gates.

Here's my latest best idea: hiring famous people to give out bad news in their spare time. Imagine you get this phone call at 3am:
You - "Hello?"
Scott Baio - "Hello. Is this Average Nobody?"
You - "Indeed."
Scott Baio - "Great. My name is Scott Baio, you might remember me from the above-average sit-com 'Charles in Charge'. I have dated many actresses."
You - "Yes! I know who you are."
Scott Baio - "Unfortunately, I have some bad news. It turns out that your daughter has been arrested for driving under the influence and possession of 10 kilos of drugs."
You - "That's terrible."
Scott Baio - "Indeed. But at least she's not dead. She is at the county jail. I hope you have a great weekend!"

Is it impersonal? Yeah. But so is a cop calling you or something. I figure it should be a subscription thing. Companies could subscribe to it, too. Fired employees would be getting phone calls from celebrities... everyone is hesitantly picking up the phone, muttering "Please don't be Tom Snyder, please don't be Tom Snyder".

The other afternoon's SBTB was high school graduation: Zack is a credit short and Screech shows character in dealing with the insufferable Jessie. The part of this episode that you should pay attention to is the costumes they wear in the ballet. It is basically screaming Freemasonry right in your face. The publishing rights to my complete exegesis for this and every episode is available for sale.